Kanchana prepares my chai with dedication, using a heavy steel pestle and mortar to pound ginger, lemon grass, cardamom, and black pepper, as I joyfully watch her in her element. I ask after her family, her health, and immediately tears well up in her eyes. She’s been needing somebody to ask her this for a while now. My instant reflexes are to hug her, and so I do. “It’s very difficult, Anjali. My brother works so much, my son also, full day and night…” She continues talking as I stir the pot of chai just as it’s about to boil over. The conversation has just begun, and we will have many little moments like these. I make sure we do.
For now, I take my masala chai to the sunken sofa in our living room, where I sit with my father and enjoy the morning papers. Opening the entertainment pages first, I savour the scent of the printing ink before diving into its contents. My father fiddles with the radio, believing that I want to listen to its scratchy tunes, but I find bliss in listening to the crows and the call of the bhaji-walla downstairs, accompanied by the familiar sounds of horns on the main road–sounds that signify I am truly home.
As if by magic, a plate appears in front of me, a crispy, glistening dosa atop it, a tiny steel bowl of coconut chutney and a soft, steaming idli right next to it. Kanchana looks at me with a satisfied smile. A silent understanding passes between us, a camaraderie shared by women who devote themselves to the needs of others. It’s a connection formed by the art of crafting a meal and offering it to someone who reciprocates with boundless gratitude. Kanchana and I exchange this unspoken bond frequently. For me, this moment is one I hope my daughters experience in their lives too. I hope they come home to this same sense of purity.
I tear a corner of the warm, buttery dosa; this is the feeling I want to transmit to all who I now call “home” in Barcelona. When I cook for them, when I teach them, when I share my knowledge with them. I want to bring them back to this very place…
St. John’s Wood, London: Of Milky Teas and Chocolate Biscuits
In the fading daylight of winter evenings, the journey home feels like a weighty task, as though I am dragging my entire rain-soaked being on the bus. Yet, the prospect of tea time at home invigorates me, as it is a moment of returning to my true self–a self that often remains hidden during my school day. Concrete grounds, brick walls, charcoal skies, and the shouting of young voices across that playground–none of these ever gave me comfort. I was a shy and timid girl, but not in a sad way.
I had a sunny, bright existence. I was a dreamer. A dreamer of colourful skies and all pretty things. I also always loved love. Love was all things welcoming, caring and giving. And to me, London in 1980 didn’t quite feel like that. There was an underlying angst everywhere. From the somewhat intimidating Punk music era, to the conservatism Margaret Thatcher brought, there seemed to be extreme anger all around.
But as I approach home, every step closer to my front door, knowing mum will be there, Radio One playing in the background, in our bustling little kitchen, preparing dinner while looking forward to my arrival, putting the kettle on…that brings me a tiny ray of colour…
Tea time. A cherished ritual, a moment of calm solace. It’s a time for reflection. It allows for that moment of slowing down. To see my reflection in that milky, skin-brown, glistening liquid. It feels like a warm embrace and a minute of me just being me. No grey, no rain, no smelly uniform.